Questions, Answers, and Apologies
by bbfan
Summary: After the attack in Stillwater, Jackson has many questions for his son. Post-Rule Fifty-One, but with some spoilers for Spider and the Fly. Minor Abby/Gibbs. First in a series.
1. Questions

DISCLAIMER: _NCIS_ is property of DPB and CBS. I make no claim on it and write this purely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement intended.  
TITLE: Questions, Answers, and Apologies  
AUTHOR: bbfan  
SUMMARY: After the attack in Stillwater, Jackson has many questions for his son.  
CATEGORY: Angst  
PAIRING: minor hints of Abby/Gibbs  
RATING: K+  
SPOILERS: Mainly up through _Rule Fifty-One_, but also small ones for _Spider and the Fly_.  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Many, many thanks to AngelQueen for helping to develop the story and for the beta. Hope everyone enjoys. The story is three chapters long, and there will be one chapter posted a day. Feedback much appreciated!

* * *

_Questions, Answers, and Apologies  
_Chapter 1 - Questions

* * *

Standing at the front window of his house, Leroy Jethro Gibbs peered out to witness something he hoped he'd never see, but knew it could very well happen. Because of his past actions, agents now had to surround his house to protect him and his father from the evil that grew from those events. Paloma Reynosa, the daughter of Pedro Hernandez, the man that he killed for murdering his wife and daughter, had already tried to seek revenge by attacking his father up in Stillwater. There was no way in hell Gibbs was going to give her the chance to do it again.

Flashbacks of that day when he'd laid in the sands of Mexico, aiming his sniper rifle at Hernandez as he drove down that dusty road, flooded his mind. The feeling of intense, consuming hatred had filled his heart and soul. Not even knowing the fact that he would leave two children fatherless could have stopped him from what he had been about to do. He hadn't hesitated when he'd made that crucial decision to pull the trigger, to end the life of a murderer. He hadn't cared that it had made him a murderer as well. He'd just known that it had to be done, and he was the one to do it.

The only guilt he felt was the way his actions affected the people he deeply loved and cared about now, primarily his father and Abby. The look of disappointment on Abby's face when she found out the truth had been gut-wrenching to witness, but when he heard his father's shaky voice on the other end of the phone, telling him that Paloma had just paid him a rather explosive visit, the sinking feeling in his chest had been almost too much to bear. He didn't think he could live with himself if anything happened to either them.

The sound of footsteps descending the stairs brought Gibbs out of those sobering thoughts. Turning, he saw Abby and Palmer carrying the last of the boxes from the guest room towards the basement. Stepping forward quickly, he intercepted Abby and took the box from her hands.

"Thanks, Gibbs," she said breathlessly.

He knew she was tired. She'd been there practically all day, cleaning. "S'okay, Abby," Gibbs responded, following Palmer down the stairs.

After placing the boxes with the others they had brought down earlier, Gibbs noticed the younger man scanning the area, clearly trying to take in everything as fast as he could. Palmer probably thought this would be the last time he'd ever be here. He was wrong. His team was always welcome and Gibbs had admitted to himself a long time ago that Palmer was part of his team.

"Agent Gibbs?"

"What Palmer?" Gibbs answered, maybe a bit too gruffly, if the look on Palmer's face was anything to go by.

"Um, _how_ did you get the boat out of the basement?" he asked nervously.

Gibbs just rolled his eyes, smirking. He brushed past the retreating Autopsy Gremlin.

They made their way back up the stairs and into the kitchen. Abby was standing there, Palmer's jacket in hand. It was time for the young man to vacate the area, taking his own bodyguard with him.

"Thanks, Jimmy, I really appreciated the help," Abby said, wrapping him up in one of her signature hugs.

Gibbs stared at Palmer intently, letting the young man know that under no circumstances was he to return the hug. The nervous, fearful expression on Palmer's face showed that he'd gotten the message. He just stood there, stiff as a board, and looked quite terrified. Pulling away from Abby's clutches, he grabbed his jacket and practically ran to the door.

"No problem, Abby! Let me know if you need any more help," he called over his shoulder. He followed his bodyguard out the door.

Abby turned to find Gibbs standing close to her. With hands on her hips, she looked into his eyes and glared. "You gave him that stare of yours, didn't you?" she demanded.

Gibbs just gave her a quirky smile, leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek before shrugging his response. He then made his way into the living room and back towards the front window. He arrived just in time to see the car that was carrying his father pull up into the driveway. He was glad that Fornell had agreed to go and retrieve Jack. NCIS was stretched thin with all that was happening and he couldn't trust just anyone with bringing his father from Stillwater. Fornell had said yes without hesitation, which spoke volumes to Gibbs about how far their friendship had come over the years.

The front door opened and his father stepped through, looking as if he'd aged ten years since Gibbs had seen him last. Gibbs forced himself to hold his anger against Reynosa and the disappointment in himself in check as he put his hand on his father's shoulder. "Hey, Dad," he said, giving him a light squeeze of assurance.

"Son…" was all Jack could or would say. He spotted Abby in the doorway of the kitchen with tears in her eyes, staring at him.

"Hey, young lady. I hope those tears are the joyful kind. Aren't you glad to see me?" Jack asked, trying to make light of the difficult and uncomfortable situation.

Abby slowly walked over, not taking her eyes off of him, and hugged the older man. She didn't break the contact until she giggled over what came out of Jack's mouth next. "You're going to have to let go, Abby, or there's going to be a puddle on the floor."

"What, your bladder not what it used to be, Jack?" Gibbs said, smiling faintly.

As Jackson walked away, he jokingly called over his shoulder, "Watch it, Leroy." The tension in the room left as quickly as it had arrived.

Gibbs turned to see Fornell standing in the doorway with a small smile on his face, shaking his head in disbelief. "All I can say is, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree."

"And here I thought I was one-of-a-kind," Gibbs joked.

Fornell chuckled and turned to go back to his car, mumbling something about having to catch up on a case. Gibbs watched him go and then yelled out to him, "Tobias."

Fornell stopped and turned.

"I owe you one," Gibbs said.

"You can bet I'll hold you to it," Fornell answered, getting into his car.

Gibbs watched as his friend backed down the driveway. He then looked at the agents standing there as they watched the scene unfold. "Hey! Eyes and ears open," he snapped at them. Everyone immediately moved at the same time, returning to their respective positions.

Shutting the door, Gibbs walked over to stand next to Abby. He gently put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her gently to his side. He gave her a quick kiss on the side of her head. "Thank you, Abbs," he whispered into her ear before letting her go. _'Thank you for caring about my father. Thank you for your help. Thank you for being here with me.'_

She looked up at him with a strange, almost scolding smile, as if to say, _did you really expect me to do anything else?_

Jackson returned at that point, walking past them and straight into the kitchen. Abby followed, close on his heals.

"You must be hungry, Jack," Abby stated,. She walked over to the stove and turned on the oven. "It won't take me long to whip something up."

Gibbs went to the fridge and took out a couple of beers. Handing one to Jack, they both moved into the dining room, sat down and watched Abby move around preparing the meal in silence. Gibbs knew that his father had a lot of questions about what had transpired that day, but was glad to see that the man was satisfied to just sit and nurse his beer for the moment. There would be plenty of time to answer his questions later.

During the meal that followed, Jack asked about Tony, Ziva, and McGee. Gibbs told him they were gathering leads on the case. He didn't let on about Tony being in Mexico. He didn't want to put any more stress on his father's already-shaken nerves. Gibbs knew he would just sit and worry.

Gibbs caught himself staring at the older man. It was his fault this was happening to him. He didn't regret ending Hernandez's miserable life, but was sorry that the backlash of his actions was spilling over and effecting his father.

Now and again Gibbs would catch Jack staring off, knowing full well that he was trying to figure out just what questions to ask. Jack knew there would only be so much Gibbs could tell him, so he would choose his questions carefully.

Of course, 'later' came too soon for Gibbs. Once they had finished their dinner, Jack decided to confront him. Gibbs' heart skipped a beat when he heard his careful, but frank, words. There was no beating around the bush. Still, Gibbs hadn't really expected anything different.

"So, Leroy, what did you do to piss someone off so badly that they wanted me dead?"


	2. Answers

DISCLAIMER: _NCIS_ is property of DPB and CBS. I make no claim on it and write this purely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement intended.  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was particularly difficult to write, since Gibbs is hardly a fan of talking about his feelings. I did my best to stay in character. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

_Questions, Answers, and Apologies  
_Chapter 2 - Answers

* * *

"_So, Leroy, what did you do to piss someone off so bad that they wanted me dead?"_

Abby's fork slipped from her fingers and crashed onto her plate, the jarring noise banishing the sudden silence that had come over the dining room. Jack noticed the fear that appeared on her face immediately. He wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Sorry," she apologized quietly. She got up and quickly started to clear the table. As she reached for Jack's plate, he stilled her actions by grabbing her wrist gently. "Young lady, I think you need to sit," he said, trying to keep his voice calm, but firm. By her reaction and her mere presence in the house, he knew she had a hand in this mess and he was going to find out what it was, come hell or high water.

Abby sat back down, her frightened gaze turning to Leroy, seeking something from him Jackson couldn't quite put his finger on. Without taking his eyes off Abby, Leroy let his father know he wasn't pleased with the way he was bringing Abby into the equation. "Dad, she has nothing to do with this."

Jackson heard Abby's sharp intake of breath. He watched her fearful look turn into one of shock and, maybe, anger. "How can you say that, Gibbs? If I hadn't gone to…" Abby cut off her words when she saw the barest shake of Gibbs head, telling her to be quiet.

Another uneasy silence fell over the room. "Well, someone had better answer my question," Jackson finally said. "I have the right to know why this lady came into my store today and shot it to hell and back."

Leroy looked at his father, his eyes betraying his feelings. Jackson recognized that haunted expression. It was the same look of anguish he'd had at Shannon and Kelly's funeral. A wave of dread washed over him. _'Dear God…'_

The tormented look disappeared as fast as it appeared. "I killed Hernandez," Leroy said in a calm, calculated voice.

Jack stiffened, a coldness settling in over his chest, as he heard the name of the monster that had murdered his daughter-in-law and granddaughter. Letting his mind quickly drift back, he remembered that Hernandez had been killed sometime later, but the killer was never found. Not that he had cared much at the time.

"Why now? Why am I just finding out about this now?" Jack tried to keep his anger from his voice, but the look on Leroy's face told him he wasn't doing a good job of it. At this point, he didn't care.

Jack saw Leroy look at Abby, and then quickly look away. Jack turned toward her, "What is he not telling me?"

He watched as Abby tried to will his son's eyes back to hers but it didn't happen. Sighing she began to talk. "That Hernandez's daughter wants revenge and that it's all my fault that it's happening." The sadness on her face was horrible to see.

Leroy's head snapped up so fast, Jackson thought his neck would break. "Abby…" Leroy's voice was hard and had a warning tone to it. His expression was something Jack had seen before. His son had inherited the famous Gibbs stare.

"No, Gibbs! I'm the one who found the evidence and processed it. I'm the one who brought Hernandez's body back to Ducky. I'm the one who wrote the report and sent in to the task force," Abby rambled on, her voice filled with regret and anger.

"I'm the one who shot the bastard that killed…" Gibbs was stopped from finishing the sentence by his father's outburst.

"Enough!"

Jackson didn't understand what was happening between the two, and frankly he didn't give a damn right now. His son had just told him he had murdered a man, in cold blood. What did he do or not do for his son, growing up, to make him feel he couldn't come and talk to him? He might have been able to talk some sense into his hard-headed son.

"Damn it, Leroy, why didn't you come to me?" Jack said, standing up quickly, his chair falling over in the process.

Leroy didn't stir, his eyes were still fixed on Abby's.

Jack sighed in defeat. Nothing had really changed between them. He had hoped otherwise, but it really hadn't. He stumbled toward the stairs. He had to think. As he reached for the door handle his son spoke… a mere whisper.

"I couldn't…"

Jack turned his head, looking over his shoulder at his son. Their eyes met. A sadness washed over him, seeing the haunted look again on his son's face. Looking away, he hesitated and then descended the stairs.

'_Not couldn't… wouldn't.'_

Walking slowly to the workstation at the back of the basement, he grabbed the stool, pulling it up close to the table. He reached for the bottle of bourbon and, not bothering with a mug, took a swig. The amber liquid burned all the way down, immediately warming him up. The coldness that had settled in his bones washed away.

Jack couldn't shake the feeling of dread, though. How could he had failed his son so miserably? Flashbacks flooded his mind. He remembered a happy, dark-haired boy with piercing blue eyes smiling up at him while fishing. Leroy had loved to fish. When he was little, he was thoroughly content to hang out with him in the old garage, tinkering around, fixing things. He had been so innocent then.

Jackson felt himself getting misty-eyed over the memory. _'Damn…'_ He quickly took another drink of bourbon, trying to blink back the tears.

He recalled when he quit the coal mines and opened the store with L.J. Both Leroy and his mother, Mary, had felt they had to compete for his attention. All his time was taken up with building the store and keeping it running. That was when Leroy immersed himself with Little League and Pop Warner football. Sports had consumed him.

Jackson realized he'd only seen a few of the boy's games. It wasn't that he didn't want to see his son succeed, he was just so tired from work and arguing with Mary that he hadn't made the effort to go. The closeness they'd shared faded away, never to return.

Taking another swig, his last, he put the lid back on and set it back up on the shelf.

Jackson concentrated on when Leroy's change of behavior became almost too much to bear. It was the day of the accident, when Mary was bringing over his record books that he'd forgotten. A coal truck ran a stop sign and slammed into the driver's side of her car. She died on impact.

Burying himself in his own grief and drink, Jackson didn't realize how badly his son was hurting. Leroy became an aloof, angry teenager almost over night. He backed off from everything and everyone. He got into fights and started to stay out after curfew. Jackson knew Leroy blamed him for the accident. Had he not asked Mary to bring him the books, she wouldn't have been at that stop sign. She wouldn't have died.

It wasn't long after that when Leroy decided that going into the Marines was what he wanted to do. Jackson had wanted him to go to college, but because it was what _he_ wanted, Leroy was completely set against it. It was as if he wanted to personally hurt him.

As a father, he'd failed his son. Through his own selfishness and self-interests, he'd ignored the most important person in his life, his son. Had he been a more attentive to Leroy's needs, maybe they would've been closer and able to talk to each other…not _at_ each other.

Hearing the raised voices upstairs, he knew Leroy would be down here any minute to hash out all the bad memories. Wiping away the tears and steeling himself, Jackson tried to relax, knowing his son would be down the stairs to have it out with him.


	3. Apologies

DISCLAIMER: _NCIS_ is property of DPB and CBS. I make no claim on it and write this purely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement intended.  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: As you all know, Gibbs doesn't do personal, so I've done my best to keep him in character - to say what needs to be said, in as few words as possible. I hope I did that. Also, this is the first story of my 'Four Months' series, covering Jackson Gibbs' time in D.C. between the events of _Rule Fifty-One _and _Spider and the Fly_.

* * *

_Questions, Answers, and Apologies_  
Chapter 3 - Apologies

* * *

Abby watched a vacant, grey, almost lifeless expression appear on Gibbs' face. Although he was staring right at her, she didn't think he saw her at all. The last time she seen that look was in the chaotic aftermath of Kate's murder. It was a look she'd hoped to never see again. It took everything in her being not to jump up and wrap her arms around him.

Without a word, Gibbs shot out of his seat. He started to walk past her and paused for just a moment before making his way to the stairs leading up to the second floor.

Jack had taken Gibbs' normal refuge, the basement. Abby knew the next best place for him to think without interruptions was upstairs. She was relieved to here his footsteps as he ascended to the second floor. He very well could've walked out the front door.

Abby was surprised that he hadn't chose that route, but she also knew that it was still a possible escape for him. Quickly, she stood up, grabbed her chair, and sat it in front of the door. She sat and waited what seemed like a lifetime, but was really mere minutes. She watched him descend the stairs, keys in hand.

He stopped in front of her. "Move, Abby," he barked.

"No, Gibbs. You're not leaving here without finishing what _we_ started. We owe him that much," she responded. Abby stood up and stepped into his personal space. She was just as determined to stand her ground, as he was to vacate the premises.

Gibbs stared her down.

"It's not going to work, Gibbs. Not this time." Abby watched incredulously as he turned quickly and made his way to the back door.

"No! Gibbs… please…"

Abby watched as he halted his momentum, and his shoulders dropped in defeat. She knew he had a hard time denying her when she pleaded with him. Taking the opportunity, she quickly moved to stand in front of him.

"You've always walked away when things got too personal," she said, her voice quiet, but with a hint of anger. _'Yes, including from me.'_ "But you can't keep doing that, Gibbs. The only way you're going to resolve your relationship is to talk to him. I know you don't like to talk…"

Abby saw the walls start to slowly melt away. Finally, he was listening to her. Before he could build them back up, she grabbed his hand and led him over to the basement door. Opening it, she gently pushed him through the opening.

"Talk to him."

* * *

Gibbs went down the stairs slowly. He knew she was right. It was time for _both _of them to stop running. Besides, for him to focus fully on what lay ahead he had to make sure his father was okay, emotionally. If not, it would be a distraction, one that could prove fatal. He would deal with his own emotional baggage later, after the bitch was caught or, better yet, dead.

Walking back toward the workstation, he smelled the lingering scent of bourbon. When he arrived at the table, he reached for a mug and blew off the dust. Grabbing the bottle, he filled himself a shots worth. He felt his fathers eyes boring into him.

Drinking it all at once, he let the stinging liquid slowly make its way down his throat. It felt good. Setting the mug down, he turned toward Jack, and what he saw startled him. The man had been crying. His eyes were red, puffy and watery. He'd only seen his father cry twice. At his mother's funeral, and at Shannon's and Kelly's.

"Dad, I'm…" He was surprised to hear his own voice crack. _'Damn…'_

"Don't. It's me who owes you an apology," Jack said, his voice thick with emotion.

'_Huh?' _"Dad, you don't owe me anything."

Jackson got off the stool and stood in front of him. "Yes I do, and if you'll be quiet long enough for me to say what needs to be sayin'… can you do that for me, Leroy?"

The edge in Jack's voice told Gibbs to back off. Holding up his hands, he motioned to him that he had the floor.

Jack paused for a moment. "Do you remember when I decided to quit the mine and open the store?"

'_Hell, yeah, I remember. I lost my best friend… you.' _"I remember."

"Never once did I ask your mother what she thought about that. I just did it, because it was what _I _wanted. I also know that it changed _our_ relationship. We were so close, Leroy. Do you remember?"

"Yes," Gibbs said. What else was he going to say? They _had _been close. Fishing and working in that old, dirty garage. _'I loved every minute of it.'_ Then out of nowhere, things had changed. His father was suddenly too busy to go fishing, too tired to tinker in the garage with him. All of his energy was spent on that shop he and L.J. had found. How was a little kid supposed to deal with that kind of abrupt change when no one would even recognize that something was wrong?

"I should've considered you both in those plans, and I didn't. I'm sorry for that, son."

Gibbs didn't know where his father was going with this. Maybe he'd had a bit too much to drink.

"When your mother died…" Jack stopped for a moment. The shadow of pain that passed over his face told Gibbs that he was right back there on that horrific day.

'_Oh, God…' _Gibbs wasn't sure he _wanted_ to know where Jack was going with this.

"Dad…"

"No, son, let me finish… please. I _need_ to finish this."

Gibbs nodded for him to continue.

"I was so wrapped up in my own grief…"

'_Don't forget the bottle, Dad.'_

"… and the bottle to see how badly you were hurting. Had I not been so damn selfish…" Jack's voice was so thick with emotion, that he had to stop. His eyes were full of tears again. Gibbs recognized what he was attempting to do. He was trying to reign it in, bury it deep. He could tell… because that was what he did. Always had.

'_Believe me Dad, I understand.' _"Grief clouds your judgment… I know." _'It consumes you.'_

With an urgency not withstanding, Jack continued in earnest, "But don't you, see, son? Had I handled that situation better, maybe… maybe you would've learned from my mistake and not get so filled with…" Jack couldn't go on.

"What, Dad, so filled with hatred that I killed the son of a bitch that murdered my wife… my daughter?" Gibbs voice hitched, anger rising. _'It wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference. My wife and baby girl were dead; all that mattered was that _someone _had to pay for it.'_

"Yes," Jack answered, his voice hushed. Gibbs could tell Jack was too tired to carry on the conversation. He knew he had to. _'Here goes…'_

"Hell, Dad, I didn't exactly make it easy for you…" Gibbs said, noticing his father was going to interrupt. "No, my turn."

"I'm not sorry that I killed him…" _'Never will be…' _"I _am_ sorry I shut you out… of my life. I made it hard for anyone to get close." Something his ex-wives had learned all too quickly.

Gibbs knew he had been a pain in the ass to live with when he was younger… hell, who was he trying to kid? He'd pushed his friends away, stopped playing sports and let is grades slip. The only real lesson he learned from his father was how to internalize his feelings. Falling in love with Shannon had helped, but the anger he felt towards his father had never healed until now.

Jack smiled. He seemed to relax a little. "I guess your friend was right… the apple…"

"… doesn't fall far from the tree… you heard." Gibbs smiled and felt his face flush a little.

Jack locked his eyes on his. "_We_ okay, son?"

'_God, yes…' _Gibbs smiled and reached for him, gathering him in for a hug. "Yeah, Dad, we're fine." They held each other for moment, letting the tension from the past melt away. Then, slowly, they released one another and stepped back, the air between them more calm than it had been in a long, long time.

"Son, I'm so tired. I think I'm going to go and lay down," Jack said, turning away.

Gibbs watched his father slowly make his way to the bottom of the stairs. He really did love that old man.

"Hey, Dad. Guest room's ready."

Jack stopped and than looked upstairs. "Abby?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be sure to thank her… and don't be too hard on her. She's hurtin' too."

"I know…"Gibbs nodded. It was a whole different issue with her and he wasn't ready to talk about it right now. Not only did he need to discuss her sense of responsibility for bringing the Hernandez case to light, but he had to address what was between them personally. Abby was right, he always ran when it got personal, but that just wasn't an option anymore.

"Should I send her down?" Jack asked, as he started up the steps.

Gibbs smiled. He knew he wouldn't have to. He knew Abby too well. She was probably up at the door, ear plastered to it, waiting. Maybe even hoping that he and his father hadn't killed each other. "Probably, won't have to," he stated.

He was right. He heard the door coming in contact with her head, and his father thanking her for getting his room ready. Then suddenly he saw a flash of her as she raced down the steps, rubbing her head. She came to a dead stop in front of him, her eyes wide and her contagious grin plastered on her face.

Gibbs narrowed his and bored his gaze into hers. "Abby…"

"Yeah… yeah, I heard. I need to stop feeling responsible for all this… and someday, I will… I promise, Gibbs." She couldn't take the stare this time so she let her eyes drop to her hands that she had just clasped in front of her.

Gibbs sighed in resignation, then reached out and gently cupped her chin, raising her face up until their eyes met. "No, not someday… now, Abbs." He tried to sound stern, but it was no use. She smiled that beautiful smile of hers and he melted, just like he always did.

"C'mere…" he said, and she stepped into his embrace. He placed a chaste kiss on the side of her head. Just as he was going to whisper his thank you in her ear, his phone rang.

Although Abby wouldn't let him go, he was still able to get his phone out of his pocket and up to his ear.

"Yeah, Gibbs?" he answered. He listened to McGee on the other end.

"Okay, on our way."

Gibbs shut the phone and slid it back into his pocket. He fished for his keys. Finding them he pulled them out.

Abby heard the jingle and slowly pulled away.

Gibbs handed her his keys. "Tony's home… you're driving."

She squealed with delight, relief spreading across her features. He knew she had been as concerned as him about the younger man.

Gibbs smiled at her and grabbed her hand, leading her up the stairs. He didn't let go of it until they reached his car, not giving a damn about the scuttlebutt that was sure to be flying at the water cooler the next day.

_**The end.**_


End file.
